The Host Chapter 39: Worried

Perfect, I grumbled to myself. Just perfect.Ian was coming to join me for lunch, a big smile glued into jell on his face. Trying to cheer me up again.I pretend youre overdoing the sarcasm lately, Melanie told me.Ill keep that in mind.I hadnt heard from her untold in the past week. uncomplete of us was acceptable company right this instant. It was better if we avoided social interaction, even with each different.Hey, Wanda, Ian greeted me, hopping up onto the counter beside me. He had a bowl of tomato soup in one hand, still steaming. Mine was beside me, cooled and half full. I was toying with a piece of roll, ripping it into tiny pieces.I didnt answer him.Oh, happen on. He put his hand on my knee. Mels angry reaction was lethargic. She was too used to this kind of thing to re each(prenominal)y work up a good fit out anymore. Theyll be affirm today. Before sunset, without a doubt.You said that three days ago, and two days ago, and again yesterday, I reminded him.I have a goo d feeling about today. Dont sulk-its so human, he teased.Im not sulking. I wasnt. I was so worried I could barely think straight. It didnt leave me energy to do anything else.This isnt the first raid Jamies gone on.That ferments me feel so much better. Again with the sarcasm. Melanie was right-I really was overusing it.Hes got Jared and Geoffrey and Trudy with him. And Kyles present. Ian laughed. So theres no vogue theyll get into any trouble.I dont take to talk about it.Okay.He turned his attention to his food and let me stew. Ian was nice that way-always trying to give me what I precious, even when what I valued was unclear to either of us. His insistent attempts to distract me from the present anxiety excepted, of course. I knew I didnt want that. I wanted to worry it was the unless thing I could do.It had been a month since Id travel cover charge into Jamie and Jareds room. For three weeks of that time, the four of us had watchd together. Jared slept on a mattress wedge d above the head of the bed where Jamie and I slept.Id gotten used to it-the quiescency part, at least I was having a hard time sleeping now in the empty room. I missed the sound of two other bodies subsisting.I hadnt gotten used to waking up e truly morning with Jared there. It still took me a second too long to return his morning greeting. He was not at ease, either, just he was always polite. We were both actually polite.It was almost scripted at this point.Good morning, Wanda, how did you sleep?Fine, thank you, and you?Fine, thanks. And Mel?Shes good, too, thanks.Jamies constant state of euphoria and his happy chattering kept things from becoming too strained. He talked about-and to-Melanie often, until her name was no longer the source of stress it had once been when Jared was present. Every day, it got a shrimpy good turn more comfortable, the pattern of my life here a little bit more pleasant.We were sort of happy. Both Melanie and I.And indeed, a week ago, Jared had left for other miserable raid-mostly to replace broken tools-and taken Jamie with him.You tired? Ian asked.I realized I was rubbing at my eyes. Not really.Still not sleeping tumesce?Its too quiet.I could sleep with you-Oh, calm down, Melanie. You know what I meant.Ian always noticed when Melanies antagonism made me cringe.I thought they were going to be substantiate today, I challenged.Youre right. I guess theres no need for rearranging.I sighed.Maybe you should take the afternoon off.Dont be silly, I told him. Ive got plenty of energy for work.He grinned as though Id said something that pleased him. Something hed been hoping I would say.Good. I could use some help with a project.Whats the project?Ill show you-you finished there?I nodded.He took my hand as he led me out of the kitchen. Again, this was so common that Melanie barely protested.Why are we going this way? The eastern field did not need attention. Wed been part of the group that had irrigated it this morning.Ian did nt answer. He was still grinning.He led me down the eastern tunnel, past the field and into the corridor that led to only one place. As soon as we were in the tunnel, I could hear phonates echoing and a sporadic thud, thud that it took me a moment to place. The stale, bitter sulfur odor helped bear on the sound to the memory.Ian, Im not in the mood.You said you had plenty of energy.To work. Not to play soccer.But Lily and Wes will be really disappointed. I promised them a game of two-on-two. They worked so hard this morning to free up the afternoonDont try to make me feel vile, I said as we rounded the last curve. I could cast the blue light of s invariablyal lamps, shadows flitting in front of them.Isnt it working? he teased. Cmon, Wanda. It will be good for you.He culled me into the low-ceilinged game room, where Lily and Wes were passing the lummox back and forth across the length of the field.Hey, Wanda. Hey, Ian, Lily called to us.This ones mine, OShea, Wes warned him.You re not going to let me lose to Wes, are you? Ian murmured.You could beat them alone.It would still be a forfeit. Id never live it down.I sighed. Fine. Fine. Be that way.Ian hugged me with what Melanie thought was unnecessary enthusiasm. Youre my very favorite person in the known universe.Thanks, I muttered dryly.Ready to be humiliated, Wanda? Wes taunted. You may have taken the planet, but youre losing this game.Ian laughed, but I didnt respond. The joke made me uneasy. How could Wes make a joke about that? Humans were always surprising me.Melanie included. Shed been in just as miserable a mood as I was, but now she was suddenly excited.We didnt get to play last time, she explained. I could feel her yearning to precede-to run for pleasure rather than in fear. Running was something she used to love. Doing nothing wont get them home any unbendableer. A distraction might be nice. She was already view strategy, sizing up our opponents.Do you know the rules? Lily asked me.I nodded. I remember them.Absently, I bent my leg at the knee and grabbed my ankle behind me, force it to stretch out the muscles. It was a familiar position to my body. I stretched the other leg and was pleased that it felt whole. The bruise on the back of my thigh was wearied yellow, almost gone. My side felt fine, which made me think that my rib had never really been broken.Id hold backn my face patch I was cleaning mirrors two weeks ago. The scar forming on my cheek was meritless red and as big as the palm of my hand, with a dozen jagged points around the edges. It bothered Melanie more than it did me.Ill take the object, Ian told me, while Lily fell back and Wes paced beside the egg. A mismatch. Melanie liked this. Competition appealed to her.From the moment the game started-Wes kicking the wrap back to Lily and accordly sprinting forth to get around me for her pass-there was very little time to think. Only to react and to feel. See Lily shift her body, measure the direction th is would send the ball. Cut Wes off-ah, but he was surprised by how fast I was-launch the ball to Ian and move up the field. Lily was playing too far forward. I raced her to the lantern goalpost and won. Ian aimed the pass perfectly, and I scored the first goal.It felt good the stretch and pull of muscle, the sweat of exertion rather than plain heat, the teamwork with Ian. We were well matched. I was quick, and his aim was deadly. Wess goading dried up before Ian scored the third goal.Lily called the game when we hit twenty-one. She was breathing hard. Not me I felt good, muscles warm and limber.Wes wanted another round, but Lily was done.Face it, theyre better.We got hustled.No one ever said she couldnt play.No one ever said she was a pro, either.I liked that-it made me smile.Dont be a sore loser, Lily said, reaching out to tickle Wess stomach playfully. He caught her fingers and pulled her closer to him. She laughed, tugging away, but Wes reeled her in and planted a solid kiss on her laughing mouth.Ian and I exchanged a quick, startled glance.For you, I will lose with grace, Wes told her, and then set her free.Lilys smooth caramel skin had taken on a bit of pink on her cheeks and neck. She peeked at Ian and me to see our reaction.And now, Wes keep, Im off to get reinforcements. Well see how your little ringer does against Kyle, Ian. He lobbed the ball into the far dark corner of the cave, where I heard it splash into the spring.Ian trotted off to retrieve it, while I continued to look at Lily curiously.She laughed at my expression, sounding self-conscious, which was unusual for her. I know, I know.How long has that been going on? I wondered.She grimaced.Not my business. Sorry.Its okay. Its not a secret-how could anything be a secret here, anyway? Its just really new to me. Its sort of your fault, she added, smiling to show that she was teasing me.I felt a little guilty anyway. And confused. What did I do?Nothing, she assured me. It was Wess reaction to you that surprised me. I didnt know he had so much depth to him. I was never really conscious of him before that. Oh, well. Hes too young for me, but what does that matter here? She laughed again. Its strange how life and love go on. I didnt expect that.Yeah. Kind of funny how that witnesss, Ian agreed. I hadnt heard him return. He slung his arm around my shoulders. Its nice, though. You do know Wes has been infatuated with you since he first got here, right?So he says. I hadnt noticed.Ian laughed. Then youre the only one. So, Wanda, how about some one-on-one while were waiting?I could feel Melanies wordless enthusiasm. Okay.He let me have the ball first, holding back, hugging the goal area. My first shot cut between him and the post, scoring. I rushed him when he kicked off, and got the ball back. I scored again.Hes letting us win, Mel grumbled.Come on, Ian. Play.I am.Tell him hes playing like a girl.Playing like a girl.He laughed, and I slipped the ball away from him again. The tau nt wasnt enough. I had an inspiration then, and I shot the ball through his goal, guessing it would probably be the last time I got to do it.Mel objected. I dont like this idea.Ill bet it works, though.I put the ball back at center field. You win, and you can sleep in my room while theyre gone. I needed a good nights rest.First to ten. With a grunt, he launched the ball past me so hard that it rebounded off the distant, invisible wall behind my goal and came back to us.I looked at Lily. Was that wide?No, it looked dead center to me.One-three, Ian announced.It took him 15 minutes to win, but at least I got to really work. I even squeezed in one more goal, of which I was proud. I was gasping for air when he stole the ball from me and sailed it through my goalposts for the last time.He wasnt winded. Ten-four, I win.Good game, I huffed.Tired? he asked, the innocence in his tone a bit overdone. Being funny. He stretched. I think Im ready for bed myself. He leered in a melodramatic way.I winced.Aw, Mel, you know Im joking. Be nice.Lily eyed us, mystified.Jareds Melanie objects to me, Ian told her, winking.Her eyebrows rose. Thats interesting.I wonder whats fetching Wes so long? Ian muttered, not taking much notice of her reaction. Should we go find out? I could use some water.Me, too, I agreed.Bring some back. Lily didnt move from where she was half sprawled on the floor.As we entered the narrow tunnel, Ian threw one arm lightly around my waist.You know, he said, its really unfair for Melanie to make you suffer when shes angry at me.Since when are humans fair?Good point.Besides, shed be glad to make you suffer, if Id let her.He laughed.Thats nice about Wes and Lily, dont you think? he said.Yes. They both seem very happy. I like that.I like it, too. Wes finally got the girl. Gives me hope. He winked at me. Do you think Melanie would make you very uncomfortable if I were to kiss you right now?I stiffened for a second, then took a deep breath. Probably.Oh, yes.Defini tely.Ian sighed.We heard Wes shouting at the said(prenominal) time. His voice came from the end of the tunnel, getting closer with each word.Theyre back Wanda, theyre backIt took me less than a second to process, and then I was sprinting. Behind me, Ian mumbled something about wasted effort.I nearly knocked Wes down. Where? I gasped.In the plaza.And I was off again. I flew into the big garden room with my eyes already searching. It wasnt hard to find them. Jamie was standing at the front of a group of people near the entrance to the southern tunnel.Hey, Wanda he yelled, waving.Trudy held his arm as I ran around the edges of the field, as if she were holding him back from running to meet me.I grabbed his shoulders with both hands and pulled him to me. Oh, JamieDid ya miss me?Just a tiny bit. Where is everyone? Is everyone home? Is everyone okay? Besides Jamie, Trudy was the only person here who was back from the raid. Everyone else in the little advertize-Lucina, Ruth Ann, Kyle, Tr avis, Violetta, Reid-was welcoming them home.Everyones back and well, Trudy assured me.My eyes swept the big cave. Where are they?Uh getting cleaned up, put downI wanted to offer my help-anything that would get me to where Jared was so I could see with my own eyes that he was safe-but I knew I wouldnt be allowed to see where the goods were coming in.You look like you need a bath, I told Jamie, rumpling his dirty, knotted hair without letting go of him.Hes supposed to go lie down, Trudy said.Trudy, Jamie muttered, giving her a dark look.Trudy glanced at me quickly, then looked away.Lie down? I stared at Jamie, pulling back to get a good look at him. He didnt seem tired-his eyes were bright, and his cheeks cherry-red under his tan. My eyes raked over him once and then froze on his right leg.There was a ragged hole in his jeans a a few(prenominal) inches above his knee. The fabric around the hole was a dark reddish brown, and the ominous color spread in a long stain all the way to t he cuff.Blood, Melanie realized with horror.Jamie What happened?Thanks, Trudy.She was going to notice soon enough. Cmon, well talk while you limp.Trudy put her arm under his and helped him hop forward one slow step at a time, keeping his weight on his left leg.Jamie, tell me what happened I put my arm around him from the other side, trying to carry as much of his weight as I could.Its really stupid. And totally my fault. And it could have happened here.Tell me.He sighed. I tripped with a knife in my hand.I shuddered. Shouldnt we be taking you the other way? You need to see commercialism.Thats where Im coming from. Thats where we went first.What did Doc say?Its fine. He cleaned it and bandaged it and said to go lie down.And have you walk all this way? Why didnt you stay in the hospital?Jamie made a face and glanced up at Trudy, like he was looking for an answer.Jamie will be more comfortable on his bed, she suggested.Yeah, he agreed quickly. Who wants to lie around on one of those a wful cots?I looked at them and then behind me. The crowd was gone. I could hear their voices echoing back down the southern corridor.What was that about? Mel wondered warily.It occurred to me that Trudy wasnt a much better liar than I was. When shed said the others from the raid were unloading and cleaning up, there was a false note to her voice. I thought I remembered her eyes flickering to the right, back toward that tunnel.Hey, kid Hey, Trudy Ian had caught up to us.Hi, Ian, they greeted him at the same time.What happened here?Fell on a knife, Jamie grunted, ducking his head.Ian laughed.I dont think its funny, I told him, my voice tight. Melanie, frantic with worry in my head, imagined slapping him. I ignored her.Could happen to anybody, Ian said, planting a light punch on Jamies arm.Right, Jamie muttered.Wheres everybody?I watched Trudy from the corner of my eye as she answered him.They, uh, had some unloading to finish up. This time her eyes moved toward the southern tunnel ver y deliberately, and Ians expression hardened, turned enraged for half a second. Then Trudy glanced back at me and caught me watching.Distract them, Melanie whispered.I looked down at Jamie quickly.Are you hungry? I asked him.Yeah.When arent you hungry? Ian teased. His face was relaxed again. He was better at deception than Trudy.When we reached our room, Jamie sank gratefully onto the big mattress.You sure youre okay? I checked.Its nothing. Really. Doc says Ill be fine in a few days.I nodded, though I was not convinced.Im going to go clean up, Trudy murmured as she left.Ian propped himself against the wall, going nowhere. stay fresh your face down when you lie, Melanie suggested.Ian? I stared intently at Jamies bloody leg. Do you mind getting us some food? Im hungry, too.Yeah. Get us something good.I could feel Ians eyes on me, but I didnt look up.Okay, he agreed. Ill be back in just a second. He emphasized the short time.I kept my gaze down, as if I were examining the wound, until I heard his footsteps fade.You arent mad at me? Jamie asked.Of course not.I know you didnt want me to go.Youre safe now thats all that matters. I patted his arm absentmindedly. Then I got to my feet and let my hair, now chin length, fall forward to hide my face.Ill be right back-I forgot something I wanted to tell Ian.What? he asked, confused by my tone.Youll be okay here by yourself?Course I will, he retorted, sidetracked.I ducked out around the covering before he could ask anything else.The hall was clear, Ian out of sight. I had to hurry. I knew he was already suspicious. Hed noticed that Id noticed Trudys awkward and artificial explanation. He wouldnt be gone long.I walked quickly, but didnt run, as I moved through the big plaza. Purposeful, as if I were on an errand. There were only a few people there-Reid, headed for the passageway that led to the bathing pool Ruth Ann and Heidi, paused by the eastern corridor, chatting Lily and Wes, their backs to me, holding hands. No one p aid me any attention. I stared ahead as if I were not focused on the southern tunnel, only turning in at the very last second.As soon as I was in the pitch-black of the corridor, I sped up, jogging along the familiar path.Some instinct told me this was the same thing-that this was a repeat of the last time Jared and the others had come home from a raid, and everyone was sad, and Doc had gotten drunk, and no one would answer my questions. It was happening again, whatever I wasnt supposed to know about. What I didnt want to know about, according to Ian. I felt prickles on the back of my neck. Maybe I didnt want to know.Yes, you do. We both do.Im frightened.Me, too.I ran as quietly as I could down the dark tunnel.